Before you go on with the reading,

She's making her own way. With Allah by her side.


If you don't mind, read this blog from the first post. But If you mind, don't basically judge if you don't know what happened before :)

dan kisah penulis yang panjang hikayatnya di sini : kaishrakirana.
Salam.


April 25, 2012

069. Not to be broken.


-Previously picture of Mak and Bapak-
"I wanna learn how they fall in love for each other for almost 22 years"

I made a promise,
1 | not to fall apart anymore
2 | gain my strength back.

For those people that I love and putting good expectation on me.


Allah.
Please make this time around a sweet journey again.
The bruises I had will not make me look dirty,
but they taught me how to get up
after all those fights.


Playing back the playlist I had on last year,
reminds me everything that is now what supposed to be called as,
"Sweet Memories"

Of the journey, budak nakal nak mencari tuhannya.

Memujuk kembali hati,
Mengingatkan kembali akal,
Meaktifkan kembali anggota,
Tentang tujuan asal sebuah penghijrahan.

Bukan kerana mencari suami Pak Ustaz,
Bukan kerana mahu dapat gred paling tinggi kelas mengaji,
Bukan juga kerana mahu dilihat alim dan santun.

Tapi kerana, nilai solehah itu terlalu tingi.

Dan sekelip mata boleh dirobek hilangkan dari genggaman tangan yang tak mampu memegangnya erat.


I shall put on reserve this little heart which is still under construction of mending it and putting the pieces back in order.
Tak molek.
Biarlah sebagai peringatan.


Sedih pun tak berguna,
I believe, dalam nakalnya dia ada baiknya dia.
Tapi sampai bila?

I am not a mannequin.
You can pick up when you want to.
and put on display when you think you have to,
and play around.



Ha, rahsialah.

Terlalu lama berdiam dari dunia fesbuk,
Alhamdulillah.
Hinggakan Kak Nurul yang suddenly texted me and told me she's getting enganged and married soon.
Mabruk. Barakallahufik Ukhti.

Kak Nurul marahkan saya kerana hilang dari gapaiannya.
Fesbuk hilang, telefon susah diangkat.


I guess, I am very much content of this life.
I am  trying to make this lips smile again.

Kalau dulu, mungkin teringin sangat ramai kawan, ramai kenalan.
Senang.
Big scale of social networking or perhaps pandai bergaul.
Kini,
I prefer to be in my own cocoon.
But, to grab along kekasih-kekasih hati.

"Biarlah saya kekal menjadi perempuan yang dirahsiakan, yang masih belajar menjaga hati, menjaga akhlak, menjaga cinta"



Allahurabbuna, I believe,
whatever you gave me for the past few months was just a test.
And for that, I shall be thankful,
because that is sign of LOVE

:)

Salam alaykum w.b.t

___

"Mkay, sihat tak ni? Muka nampak sedih."


"Allah. I am okay. I am fine. I can smile and even breath. and still do work. Alhamdulillah"

___

"Kenapa Mkay menghilang. Ada masalah? Dari awal semester, you looked different"

*bisikdalamhati*
"Bodohnya aku tak pandai berlakon"

Smile and grin.

___


Let only Allah know.

"People break you apart, because you let them to do so to you"

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