Before you go on with the reading,

She's making her own way. With Allah by her side.


If you don't mind, read this blog from the first post. But If you mind, don't basically judge if you don't know what happened before :)

dan kisah penulis yang panjang hikayatnya di sini : kaishrakirana.
Salam.


July 19, 2012

093. I CAN'T WAIT to die?


"Tak sabarnya nak habis SPM. school's rules are crap. I wanna be free'
"Tak sabarnya nak habis belajar. graduate cepat"
"Tak sabarnya nak kahwin. dapat anak comel. suami baik"
"Tak sabarnya nak kerja. ada duit sendiri"
"Tak sabarnya nak ada kereta and rumah sendiri. Baru rasa like an adult"

Tak sabarnya nak mati?


Hahaha pernah fikir begitu?

Surely pernahkan.

Assalammualaikum wbt.

Just to think of it, berapa banyak dari kita tak sabar untuk itu tak sabar untuk ini.
Tak sabar to end a phase of life and start with a new one.
and what hits me recently is,

We just have to appreciate the moment we are having in each phase of life.
Like seriously duh!

Dari zaman kecik, aku selalu tengok mak masak and said,
"Tak sabarnya nak besar, boleh masak. ni asyik-asyik kena basuh pinggan, potong bawang. Tak thrillnya"

Bila besar sedikit, bapak won't allow me to cook. Sebab bahaya minyak panas and at that time there were maids.

"Nana tak payah sentuh-sentuh dapur. kalau minyak terpelanting panas. lalalalala"


and now, I am 21, I cook!
I don't really say it is a hard thing to do everyday during the holiday.
Its just how I start to reminisce what I've said to myself since I was small, and now taraaa...
Does that kills the excitement?

It depends.

And time cuti ini I worked in a children day care center.
You know, what I feel was a complete life-changing situation.
I worked with kids and deal with their parents.
Looking at those innocent faces, made me realized how old I am.

haha. not that seriouslah.

Tapi lets see, I can still remember when I was in the kindergarten era, I was forced to go to the taska because at certain period we have no bibik. The system in that taska has never changed since i was a kid (or maybe, it changed a lil bit but not in certain parts).

Around 12-3 the kids are asked or will be dodoi-ed to sleep.
When I was a kid, I took that part as such a cruel enforcement to us.
"Tidur. tidur. tutup mata"

Now, when I worked as a teacher I knew exactly why :)
That is the time for the teachers to take their break bergilir-gilir.

See, after years of hating the rules in taska. I just came to learn that fact and absorb it when im in my early 20's. How sweet hikmah is, kan?

Hikmah, adalah sesuatu yang mungkin kita tak nampak DIRECTLY!
Paaaaap. Mak tak bagi pergi shopping mall terus merajuk.
rupanya, shopping mall tu nak ada orang hijack ke apa ke...
who knows.


hahaha.. lame :)





sorry for blogging in the not so-thiqah way.
I learn my way of life and seek the hikmah in the harsh way (but not really pun. sebab I am so manja)



Second thing, talking about being "TAK SABARNYA" , is you will not fully enjoying the moment you are having in each phase of life.
For me, I do want to regret myself being that way. But come to think of it, just let what has passed be a good reminder to me. Cherish my life in the future and be better :)

Now, what I want most is a time machine and turn back to the ol' time. Ridiculous. and that's why ALLAH has never ever create such thing/phenomenon that will make us able to travel into times or even places.




Pesanan saya,

"Be with the young ones, so that you will see how big the future is and how pure they are.
Be with the old ones, so that you will see their struggle and hardship throughout their lives"

Just try to be out of your comfort zones. Explore more. Discover more. Communicate with people in the right manner, EnsyaAllah good things will come to you in a very unexpected way. Lillahi Ta'ala.

Ilmu dunia itu bukanlah hanya yang tercetak di lembaran kertas kuning yang dicantum menjadi buku, Ilmu dunia itu bila kau membuka hati kau dengan seluasnya dan bersedia untuk hidup dengan sepenuh kehidupan. Belajar dari orang. Belajar dari keadaan sekeliling.




Wasalam.


p/s : stop saying tak sabarnya nak habis cuti. duduk rumah bosan. sebab, nanti bila kau dah habis cuti and have to start your classes back, you will say "TAK SABARNYA NAK CUTI. NAK BALIK RUMAAAAAAAAAAAH"


haha kelakarnya manusia. never appreciate. never bersyukur.


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