Before you go on with the reading,

She's making her own way. With Allah by her side.


If you don't mind, read this blog from the first post. But If you mind, don't basically judge if you don't know what happened before :)

dan kisah penulis yang panjang hikayatnya di sini : kaishrakirana.
Salam.


November 5, 2013

An open letter ; katanya.

Menipu diri sendiri tentang perasaan sendiri; jangan tipu, tuhan tahu.

Kadang kadang, kita lupa yang kebergantungan pada tuhan adalah asas kepada semua perkara, lagi lagi perkara yang terlalu subtle seperti begini. Apa saja boleh jadi. Kun fa ya kun, kan tuhan kata.

Lagi, aku seperti rasa mahu mohon ampun dari semua manusia "habluminannas" katanya, atas perkara luar kawalan yang aku tak punya kuasa menghalang. Baik dari yang baik baik hinggalah kepada yang paling nakal nakal.

I feel like writing an open letter to my dearly friend, but everytime I am with this keypad, the lines of wording that have been playing in my mind, went dissappear. Like, "poof". Where does it goes? I bet, God just want me to talk to Him more, having highly private and confidential conversation with Him more often, rather than posting it in any public entities.

...

Untuk kawan aku yang aku sayang , dan sentiasa tertanya tanya apa tuhan rancang untuk kita, dan aku tertanya aku ini dipandang kamu bagaimana; I guess there is just nothing I could do to make things right again. I may spilled too much on you, just because I have a little bit portion of my trust in you  compared to others. I do know how you have been taking care, even myself won't able to do it. For now; silence may be the best remedy. For God is the best listener and the best one to solve everything. A good friend will always remind you of His beauty, kan? And you are one of His amazing creations.

For I shall never prevail , whatever I've promised to keep to myself. But its kinda distracting not to let you know the real situation in the first place.


Dear God, please do tell to my dear friend, in your gentle whisper of the nights, delicate touch in the heart, just a spark of instinct; whatever in my heart that is good to be known. Keep the bad ones, just by the of of us , You and me, My Lord.


Maaf, aku bukan manusia terbaik untuk tunjuk kasih sayang atau cinta segala. Perasaan perasaan ku ; ibarat anak kecil dalam selimut dan selimut tebal itu, dan hanya terpancar garit garit senyum yang aku sedaya ikhlaskan agar kau tahu; "Maryam baik baik saja"


Hadiah kan aku; piala kemenangan atas lakonan aku ya. Aku harap aku cukup bagus dan layak menerimanya. Aku redha atas sangkaan mu.


Allahu.

.....

Feeling negative after reading this? Nah. Please don't. Its just a little bit of life. Having issues with hearts, studies, management or just whatever. It shows that we are a completely normal human being. Just to make it clear; we all have things that we are attached to and need to be solved; God just wants us to rely on Him for issues that arise. Worry not, keep your tears, stand strong. When we look something in such beautiful hikmah way, we see lotsa things to be thankful for. Dont cha think so?

Hamdan lillah.

Assalammualaikum wbt.

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