Before you go on with the reading,

She's making her own way. With Allah by her side.

If you don't mind, read this blog from the first post. But If you mind, don't basically judge if you don't know what happened before :)


September 21, 2011

042. Superstar on her own stage.

Salam alaykum w.b.t

How have you guys been doing?
Not updating blog for quite some time due to the hecticness that I am attached to within this week.
Helping here and there in KaedFest and also preparing for my 1st submission on this Friday can really make me go insane.

I do want to be good at both.
But I have to prioritize at the main aim. Which is maybe the submission of my studio project. But sadly to say, up until now I haven't paint anything yet. Seriously zerious, I am pretty much busy and deep down I kinda scared of not able to do well in the studio subject.

Gah. Enough

last night I did something that I would never do it for the entire of my life (perhaps lah)

It was such an impromtu performance. I don't know from where did the courage came, yesterday.

Bayangkan ;

Tiba-tiba hati terdetik to make a surprise for my friends around 12pm and the show is on the night of the same day. Jadi I texted the Program Manager asking permission to join at the very last minute.

I have the video to show at the background, so it helps to save my effort and time.
But i haven't extract the file from Youtube as my "minus one" for the night.

What do you expect, yesterday was such a busy day. Fully-packed with activities from dawn till dusk (aiceh)

Pagi, launching of KaedFest. Petang pulak Mass Taaruf for the first year students which I have to tolong-tolong jagakan.

With me being unprepared tapi still ada hati nak perform. Lirik tak hafal and suara tak sedap.

I just do it.

This is one thing basically about me, If I do want something pretty badly, I'll do it and I won't hesitate.
I may be alone. But along the way, Allah helps a lot.
He gave me "friends"/

Bayangkan ; show is at 10 pm. Tapi I had a meeting before that.
And I didn't really practice for that song.
Malam lepas maghrib, baru berlari-lari ke KAED bring along the lappy.
Duduk Kaed Gallery with Syafinas Roslan.
Extract those files.

Which suddenly, tak boleh main pun dalam my BB.
Which is quite saddening. But never mind, the show must go on.

I went too the meeting,
Syafinas helped me to bring the "pendrive" to the audio girl upstairs.

Pretty hectic.


I only got to practice the lyrics on my BB sahaja.
which was too small and no background music.

So, nice.

Late that afternoon, I asked my "girlfriends" to come over to the Sisters Night. But I don't reveal anything.
As a keeper I am, I hold my secrets so much deep inside. I just asked them to come by and begging them like crazy. Yeah, did that.

Alhamdulillah, few of them did show some supports :)
and that is the most touching moment I have ever had.

I was sitting at the very back of the hall , looking and practicing alone.

When my name was called ,
I went up to the stage.
My friends were all echoing and cheering for me.
Yes, indeed it was another moment in my life that I would really like to keep forever.

I went at the back side of the curtain.
The music started , I said few words  ...
A short simple speech.

The video was On as my background.

and until a few lines ,
I went numb.

My voice wasn't there.
I was shaking.

Not that because I am nervous of not doing well.
But because,
those words of that song really had into me.

I cried a lil'.
and I screwed up my singing.

To be honest, I never expect to see the judges on that night.
I totally forgot it was a Talentime.
and when I saw them , I decided to back off from the event.
I just want to do a simple performance as a surprise.
Not to compete with others.

But one of my distant friend said to me , to just let it be.
Remember what is your first intention to be there .
Just take it and make it happen.
Don't worry too much if its a competition or what not.

Thank you, you..


When I screwed up with the broken lyrics and everything.
I stopped and said ;

"Can i do this one more time? This time would be the betul-betul one. Just now I was too attached with my emotions. Sorry"

After begging alone on the stage. And every eyes were set on me,

the music started again.

I continue back.

It was better.

Until, my friends came up to the stage and be with me.
Hugging to one another side by side.

Really made me lost my focus.
and never mind for that.
I really had the best moment of my life.

Performing on the stage , with my bestfriends ...

And that closed my night with a super big smile.

(who wants to watch this video, tell me personally okay, dear?)

I asked Allah , If ever you want to take my breath away one day ;
Please let me , have some time to be able show some love to those people that I love most.
My mak bapak, abin umar and friends.

and please let me , be able to seek for apologies from everyone and start all over again with a new heart.
I don't want even a little black spot on my heart , for it may affects the tranquility of my life.

If only I am going to die anytime soon ,
I did what I thought I would never ever do.

For everything ; only Allah knows the reason of.

I got nervous, after I ended the show. I went outside and walk non-stop pusing KAED. That's my way of reducing those butterflies feelings in my stomach.. Before I went to perform, I do get shaky but not that much. If I am nervous and want to be prepare , besides selawat and calling Mak n Bapak for my inner strength, I will always have one bottle of mineral water and minum tak henti-henti. Nak tekak rasa basah lah kononnya :)

Thank you guys. I am afraid if i did disappoint the audience by giving such a dramatic show up there with me all getting kelam kabut with the lyrics and BB on my hand and everything. For that I shall say, Alhamdulillah.

Keep this forever ...

Salam alaykum.

"Thank you for accepting me for who I was before and for I am now, May this journey remains forever in the spirit of friendship Lillahi Ta'ala"

Even if you are in the video, or not in ; you know what , my heart and mind there will always be you guys, as long as you called yourself as my friend. So, don't worry much if you are not in the picture. Actually I made it for my Landscape girlfriends saying a farewell to them few months before :')

See, I am  still cool even I put some things aside and yes, I am the girl who loves to put surprises and giving gifts to those people that she loves <3 #aries

Muslimah can be cool right peeps? Just change your attitude and mind-set! <3


Cidak said...


segan ana dengan artis.

lagu apa yang kau nyanyikan?

F.Ishak said...

salam maryam kirana =) fna ishak here, tktau you ingat lagi ke tak. kadang-kadang fna drop by sini, and suka la baca yr posts! (walaupun i'm not a 'loyal' reader, wondering how can i contact/talk to you privately, would like to talk to you personally soon =) if tak kesah, email your reply sini boleh? -, much love, assalamualaikum! <3

ubaidillah zulkefli said...

oke aku bru jumpe blog kau setelah penat berjalan2 blog.. :) btw xlrt aku nk nk bce..pnjang sungguh.. hehe
keep in touch yakkk

M. said...

Cidak :
Lagu yang aku sertakan sekali karaoke nya di bawah tu. Cepatlah practice.

Aku artis bawah kelambu je. Artis malu. haha.

M. said...

Fna : InsyaAllah boleh je kita contact2.

I'll email you k.

Thanks for coming here :)