Before you go on with the reading,

She's making her own way. With Allah by her side.

If you don't mind, read this blog from the first post. But If you mind, don't basically judge if you don't know what happened before :)


April 18, 2012

066. Out of guilt and love.

When been given two choices,
one should choose wisely.

Out of guilt
Out of emotional thinking.

Be it rational
and reasonable.

For few days, I've been wrestling with my own self,
and another human figure.
Not to say few days, but maybe since the starting of this semester,
I shall say.

"I choose you. Please be happy"
"Poor her"


I won't flip open my own book of secrets.
Day by day, I understand of what I should do and where I should stand.

I don't really bother much of my social networking accounts that I have put into silent mode.
(for the time being)
May Allah give ease.

I went out to the city,
I took the wrong train,
I stopped in the middle of the journey,
I prayed at a place seemed so alien to me,
I whispered silently to God,
I cried alone,
I know, I should not wait to be in front of Kaaba to send my prayers upon Allah,
HE is everywhere near me.
HE is there, even near to my jugular vein.
I trust my instinct.
I trust my Creator.

and I met a girl from London.
The details of her, I shall keep between me, her and HIM.

It soothed my heart a little bit.
It was raining pretty heavily.
I went out and managed to get through the hectic traffic.
I found the right train.

I stopped at another station
Another time of prayer has come.
I prayed.
A loner I am, with my Lover.

It was a very silent night.
I went up to the food bazaar.
I chose a place to sit.
I took up my book and HIS book.
I read them line by line.
Looking at the dark sky and people downstairs.
Happy faces everywhere,
I tried to smile, just to fit in with the crowd.

The rest, let it be my history.

Sometimes, let yourself to be alone.
Let your heart ponders, Let your mind reflects.
Of what you do, what you feel, what you hear and what you see.
Because somehow, when everything is messed up,
You just need your own private realm.
Explore the inner peace.
Rejuvenate one-self.

Between me and HIM.

May HE guides us well.

Salam Alaykum w.b.t

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